Tomorrow is a start of the first school-term holiday. What fun. Quite an amount of homework, but I wont complain. And I'll be having visitors in the term so it'll be less of a drag.
I give up on the ideas of the day. I hope you're happy.
I had such a time in school today. I have my subject slots shuffled, and I'm adapting quite well. What does this means to you? To people who know what I'm talking about, yeah. To those who do not, yeah, it just means I'll be sitting for subjects at different times and classes than I used to.
I also have a project to complete. What fun. I am to build a model of the mitochondrion and create a presentation of it. Isn't that exciting, children?
Apart from that, that's it. And for the lack of updates the lasts days are for reasons that I have no internet available then.
Today was nothing much, but it's tonight that's giving me internal (mental) drama. I can't stand this.
My problem apparently, arose from deep within myself. Meaning I'm generating problems for myself. But it's not like I'm doing it on purpose. As you all know, one can split my soul (active personality) into four. And 75% of these are assassinating me through worries in my heart. I actually might go crazy from this.
What's the problem? My inconsistencies are getting more and more distinguished, in my heart. Meaning that I get more drastically different in my Soleil, Hold and my Estelle. Jorden has no effect on me. Though I fear what it might cause me to have.
To put it simply, the storm of chaos in my soul is getting worse.
I need to get a psychiatrist soon...
Or rest. As you may be right, I'm probably exaggerating my problem to make it more worse than it actually is, and it's probability is high, but that's just it. My mind is giving me these things that I'm probably turning into a jerk, even though I'm not.
Then again, how am I to say. You people are the only one who can tell me.
Please, tell me, have I been okay? Like usual self lately? Or have I acted a bit different. I don't know what, but this problem is really not good. If it is not real, then it's the worrying that's driving me nuts.
I'm so worried that I'm changing for the worse. But with all this worrying, I doubt I could change, right? Well, frankly, I don't know. This alone is breaking my nutshell, or whatever.
This could also affect my studies. Having worries of nothing in my head is extremely dangerous, especially during exams. Not that I have any right now.
And I feel guilty to drown or whatever my problems in videos of cats.
Maybe all I really need is a cat. . . . . . . . I am not well. Don't worry, no ideas for today.
But there is a video, like always. Is this appropriate? Since none of the videos I've posted in majority have any relations to the posts.
Idea of the Day: ~Aima~ (this is my idea. again, none of these are actual fact) The darker aspect of Life. It is the aspect of the Loss of life forces, be it Vita or Zoe, loss of Vita being potentially more dangerous. It is the aspect which relates to Thanatos or Death. It is simply the aspect of life being used up whether naturally, as in Chronos or Age, or forcefully, as in sacrifice, actual use, or in Harm or Algos(many "os"es huh). It has a vector value, where positive means loss and negative means gain, opposed to Zoe. >It is correct in saying "have", "gain" or "lost" Aima, when used correctly. >It is not correct in saying "gained Aima" when healed or "lost Aima" when cured, for they mean the exact opposite.
Designated universe : A game universe where the main character is a mage known as Lanx Themix. End.
School was interesting for me today. To start of my my school session, I get to do some heart-wrenching, emotionally-powerful drama in front of my English class today. It was fun, like how I did when I had this Literature workshop at another school last year or so. The true purpose for us to do that is actually to get comfortable with people in my class. I say with full honesty that this is difficult for me to do, as I am very shy, prone to thing terribly of myself whenever I mess even the slightest of bit up in front of them, even when they feel nothing of it and is awkward around people in general for my lack of conversational skills. I'm like an NPC, I only say stuff when I'm being talked to. The rest of the day was like always, school.
Also, I'm feeling better now! I need not tell my mother that I was unwell. What a relief.
Do you also think I should stop writing my ideas of the day?
It hurts inside, when I listen to this, for all the memories it unlocked for me.
Idea of the Day: ~Zoe~ It is the aspect of Life inside a living object. It is the aspect of the forces of Life that makes the object living, and that keeps the object alive. It is what we refer to as a spirit, soul, etc. It has a vector value, positive is gaining life forces, while negative is loss of life force contained. >It is all correct in saying "have Zoe", "gain Zoe" and "lost Zoe" when refer to oneself, when healed and when hurt, respectively.
Desiganted universe : A game universe where the main hero is a mage called Lanx Themix. End.
Today is a holiday, and thus I started my day sleeping in bed 'till I get sick of it, literally. So, I ate breakfast, blah, then my dad decided to bake a cake. It was sponge pandan. mmm... Then I tried to play FF XII without cheats, since I realized that the only game I finished without cheats is FF X-2. T_T Didn't work out well, so I'm gonna cheat on it again. Don't get me wrong, I got to the very end of the game, with Tournesol and Zodiark, but I deleted it for some unearthly reason yet known to me.
I still feel somewhat unwell, but felt a bit better this morning. Now, I'm not feeling weller. If it persist, I'll tell my mom tomorrow, after school, at 3.00 pm.
Now the video. It am soofing.
The picture is irrelevant. And the song isn't complete... T_T
Idea of the Day: ~The Aspect of Life, Vita~ The aspect of Life itself. It is the aspect of the forces of Life that exist outside a living object. It has a scalar value. >It is incorrect to say "I have Vita" for it is the aspect of life forces outside any object. >It is, however, correct in saying "obtaining Vita" as it means that one has receive Vita and has converted it to "Zoe", the life force contained in a living object. >It is not correct in saying "I lost Vita" for one cannot possess Vita, as it exist outside the object.
Designated Universe : Zolkothe, a universe (game) whose main character is a mage called Lanx Themiks. It's a status parameter. End.
Much to the excitement of my life, I got to go shopping with my mom! Yays
The plan was to buy some plastic cover for my textbooks, and then buy some other things while we're doing so. So I got the plastic covering, two metres, and went to the Centrepoint, a shopping complex, and there we bought some (few) clothes. Actually, I'm planning to buy myself some boxers (eww, I'm talking about my underwear on the internet), I got some, but it's a bit skin tight. I'm wearing them right now. So anyway, if we are to go again tomorrow, since it'll be a holiday, I'm gonna buy cotton boxers, size L. Apperently, they are not very nice. Then, we went grocery shopping! After eating lunch.The most notable purchase was a snack of garlic bread, small size, crunchy as bread can (not) get. Delicious, there was no denial, but I was full. Then I bought this chocolate that came with a toy! It was a mystery toy. Oooh~~ Have I opened it? Yes. Played with it? Yes. Threw it away at some hapless passer-by? Yes.
But drama was to come, before the lunch. My health, apperently wanted to stay asleep, but since I refused to do as such, it know took it out on me and now I feel not so well, akshully. I took some paracetamol, and being careful about it. I feel somewhat less not so well. I hope my sickness doesn't become legit, or I might miss school next Tuesday. I've already missed much lessons. Poopy.
For the video, some akwardness. It involves a comedian telling his coming-of-age tale.
Idea of the Day: ~Red Ring~ A metal ring, that alights upon the wearer's wrath, fear, agitation and the likes. It's crimson flame is bright, though harmless. The ring, whilst giving the wearer the power over flames, also gives the user to see Truth, as well as the inner intents of every being. The Crown Key will bring whoever has it to the Eastern Scale Sanctuary, Candle Castle.
Designated universe : Undetermined End.
Today was another day of every other day.
However, I had to leave school! Yay. The reason being: Attending a meeting session at the Main Hall of the New Building of the Ministry of Education, arranged by said ministry, with the session titled "Scholarship"
Here's the deal: 1. Special Education Scheme 2. Excellent Student Scholarship 5. Brunei Darussalam Administration Service Scholarship.
About: 1.Give rise to excellent teachers/tutors/etc. 2.Give rise to anything great 5.Give rise to administration officials
Requirements: 1. ~Local ~Credits in English and Malay Languages ~Aggregate 12 and below ~At least 5 distinctions
2. ~Local ~English and Malay Language Distinction 2 and above ~Aggregate 8 and below
5. ~Local ~Malay and English languages, Credit ~At least 7 distinctions.
These are all the relevant scholarship offers for students of my level (after "O" Level exams)
I only have six distinctions and and three credits, and my Malay language is a credit 3. Teachers = Epic DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!
Idea of the Day : ~Atlas Bracelet~ A bracelet of wood, engraved runes and worldly design. As a Crown Key, the bracelet grants those who wear it tremendous strength and an understanding of both beast and green, as well as a command of the earth. It will show forth, the Southern Scale Sanctuary, the Abode of Kindness.
Designated universe : Undetermined End.
As of today, I am officially of the Sixth Form Centre of Katok. Woot. Now, I may have somewhat of a clean slate, but only to among those I do not recognise, in other words, everyone else who isn't you.
So we got our textbooks, and thus do I consider the importance of that of a locker, which I am hoping to apply for tomorrow. But this may not be, for I may be going away from school, as I have a meeting session thing with the Ministry of Education for being a good, successful student. My parent (not sure which) had answered the call that was the invitation. I am to sit for a meeting session on scholarships. This is so I may go study abroad.
Honestly, if it's only just a talk and not for application on scholarships, I'd be fine, but if I am to recieve a scholarship, I feel uneasy about it. I mean, I just settled with into my new school, and then I have to leave abroad. Seriously, I'm getting heavily winded by all this. It's like having to move to a new house for a three days, having fully unpacked, and then having to move again, to another house, in another country, the next day.
But what am I supposed to do? I can't turn down the offer of studying abroad. It might be my only chance, but, my school has given me an even wider spectrum of opportunity, such as learning Japanese and go on adventures (whilst still being a student and underaged and not legal). I'm just afraid that I might lose these chances. Like I said, I may not be able to do anything else if I become a doctor.
Which brings me to another topic, and that is the IF I become a doctor. If I don't get it, what the poop am I supposed to do? I need a plan B, even if I'm praying that I don't have to use it.
Like how there is a possibility that no one is reading this blog of mine. :D I am fully sympathetic to you people who would have to go through my tormenting posts of shorts and longs. And me writing everyday isn't making it any better.
I seriously need someone tangible to listen to my problems... Any suggestions?
Enough of that, more on this.
Time to parade. ~fanfare~ Little children : Yaay!!!
Idea of the Day: ~Cold Rook~ An object that resembles that of the chess piece, rook. The object seems as if it was made entirely out of glass. Though no amount of force could harm it. As a Crown Key, it gives those who bear it abilities of frost and life within water. With it, one can find the Western Scale Sanctuary, the Chalice Haven.
Designated universe : Undetermined End.
The reason where there was no blog post yesterday was because the wireless connection of my home was disturbed by the rain and all that wind last night.
Moving on, these two days were spent in my new "college" as it were, under orientation. It had lasted only for that period of time. Quite short, I know, but the time we started school again was a bit of a long wait. Whatever.
So yesterday, the first part of my orientation was somewhat dull. The prefects there, though, tried to entertain us by using the newly enrolled (us) students. Apart from that, nothing exciting. They prefects were, I'm sad to say, weren't very organized much. If I had to do the same, becoming a prefect as such, I have to do better... Anyway, they showed us around the school abit, for 15 minutes, and we went back. Of course, there were many speeches, but I'm sure all of you rather not read about them. That night, I was really tired. I haven't felt that way in a while, so I went to sleep around 8 pm.
Today was a bit more exciting, simply because we get to join extra-curricular activities, or clubs. It was told that we are to join at least one of them but no more than two. I signed up for the Adventure Club and the Japanese club. Reason is because so I can live out Final Fantasy. I also explored the school on my own earlier since it's only natural that I haven't fully explored the school when we were shown around, slowly, for 15 minutes. Actually I haven't fully explored the entire school yet. It felt like playing Persona 3 and 4, where my environment consist of a school. So, I got to know the area better, since I had to if I wish to survive these two years.
About the clubs, as usual and expected, mother felt contradicted about the clubs I joined. Indeed, there is a large possibility that I will have to go places, especially Adventure club, and I might got lost while being in said club. :D But I really don't care. In fact, I do care, for myself. My future I decided was to be a medical doctor in the area of ventilation (breathing), and I am afraid that I might not be able to do any of what the things in the said clubs do, ever, since I would have to care for people. And there would be many people who would need my help by then. If this happens, I may never do anything else, at all. I am indeed weak, in terms of physicality, but then again, whose fault was it in the first place. I never got to go out, outside civilization, as close as the beach, that often. I've only been to the beach around five times, period. Sure I got to go last year, but yeah, just last year, from a period of several years. I've hiked, but I never did past five times. I'm not even sure I've gone hiking five times. The last time I hiked is when I was a kid, when I was unhealthy and hated it. Now, my parents think that I'm too weak to go hiking, to go camping, to do anything. Well, I'm quite frankly, tired of it. I want to go hiking and I want to go camping, BECAUSE I'm such a wimp. I'm no good in sports, so what the hell am I supposed to be. I don't even workout anymore because the gym is full of scary people. I know my parents are only thinking for the good of me, but will they not let me do anything at all. They even went against me playing badminton, simply because there are girls, and that I might fall in love with them, and I can't 'cause I need to go to university and graduate and get a well-paying job before I can get a girl. Good thing I'm not like how they think I would be, falling for girls, or this may actually HURT me. This, however, annoys me, because they think I am like that. And, for your information, I've only been to a friends house when I was around 14 or 15, and, for your information, I never hang out with my friend, 'cause it's dangerous.
Anyway, enough of my rant. Watch this video so that you may forget whatever poop I threw at you.
Idea of the Day: ~Mark of the 3rd Child~ An emblem, that which bears the stars. It is the royal mark of the 3rd child of the Kings. A Crown Key, it grants one the power of the skies, as well as the power of speech to those without it. It is the guide to the Northern Scale Sanctuary, the Lofty Palace.
Designated Universe : Still undetermined End.
Today was the last day I got to play badminton with my friends for this holiday, 'cause tomorrow, I start school. Let us all pray together for both excitement and ingenuity to be put into this sad blog of mine. Actually, I am excited for tomorrow. I just hope nothing terrible happens...
Also, this is also the day that my eldest sister came for her weekly visit, since she couldn't come on the usual Friday as she was sick. I pray that I don't get sick, or next week (tomorrow) will not be pleasant or enjoyable. I tend to form a repulsion towards the last few food I consumed when I get sick, or more correctly when I get better. This may also apply to situations, but I'm hoping not.
I have no more things to say. Enjoy.
Broccoli kitteh loves broccoli. Witness its growlies and paw-whappies.
