Rant, not rant (Warning: LONG rant ahead)

[Warning: Long shit ahead... Eww]
As any of you who have been following and checking my blog posts, all of you may have noticed that you have been spammed with nothing more that extremely short posts of my actual life, and got huge doses of my brain and my brain's favorite videos. This could not be helped as the holidays that I am oh so "enjoying" is dragging on for very, very long. I am quite sad to say that nothing ever really happens to me during said times, and I am, as well as all of you are, sick of it.

This is why I dislike the life I currently live in. Although there is absolutely wrong about it, it still drags. This is also why I rather live in my head than in reality. The terrible news all around the world and in this country I live in and love is not making this any more pleasant or bearable.
The worse part of it all is that I have to be spammed myself with terrible horrible house drama at every afternoon. There is nothing more I hate than television drama. Shows like Charmed and Heroes, I like, because there's more than just boring drama, but there's also cool super powers and magic involved, making it something far more grandeur than drama, known as Action. To all those who are reading this that love drama, no offense, but this is how I feel about it. Never does it fail to irritate me how full of domestic violence these things contain, and other more hateful things such as treachery and blah blah blah of it all... God, these people have the same problem I have, and that's not having a life. I cannot help not having a life since I am restricted to the home I live in, especially during the holidays. I barely go anywhere. I'm like Harry Potter, but my family loves me as they should love a person from the same family. It's just that my holidays are so damn boring... The only things I do all day apart from my daily rituals is playing games, surf the Internet, and watch television (which I barely do these days)
It's the best part though when I do go somewhere. I really enjoy having to go watch some movies at my hometown Mall. They have a cinema there, ya? I don't mind having to watch movies with my mom ( :p ) or my sister. So long as I can get to enjoy time with my family, since I barely get to spend time with my friends, I'm happy. Still, I do get to spend time with my friends when we get together and have a little badminton session every week or so...

This measly rant may seem insignificant to you, but hey, it's my life and this is my trouble. Since I feel awkward talking things like this with my family, I might as well tell the whole world. I also have wants to go and have an appointment with a psychiatrist to vent my problems on. :D But the Internet is the next best thing (not that I don't have a life, even when I said I don't). I don't think there is one yet here in my country (for a rich country for that matter). I hope someone here takes up psychology and graduate soon, I want a victim to talk their ears off.

Also, please forgive the lack of content in this blog of mine and bear with me for a few more days, or possibly weeks, because in a few days time, I will be starting orientation at my new school. More, correctly, I will start said orientation on Monday. It may put more excitement into my dreary, pictureless, youtube-abused, blog. Yay, youtube :D.

And again, for those who wants me to talk more often, sorry. My conversation materials are... not conversation materials but are for those like my sought-for psychiatrist and the likes. I have many problems to talk about, and none of them are worth talking about to the likes of the nobles I refer to as friends (it's a complement to you people for those who don't get it, or got the wrong idea). It's just full of small little problems like how I can't stop thinking on how ugly I am, though it might not be true (unless it is, then I'm gonna be depressed for a whole hour), and how I always have these strange thought floating into my head, which of course, fucks me up when I'm in public or at other places where these things can get me into trouble or things as such. Believe you, me, that these things happen to me. I don't, however, have enough courage to tell you all about my problems, 'cause all of you might stay away from me. No, wait, I shouldn't have said that...
Anyway, I'm really sorry that I couldn't chat more. This explains partly why I never go online on the messengers, or send you notes or reply to your e-mails. In fact, I've developed a sort of dislike in having to reply these things, not that I dislike you people. It's just that I need to find words on how to reply or things like that.

On an unrelated note, I gawk at my impressive typing skills that I have built over the past years, for during a time not so long ago (when I was 14-15 years old) I could only type one letter at a time, taking a very long time as I have to search for the letters I with to type. Now I barely have to look at my keyboard and I'm typing like the wind. It's still hard to do it with my eyes closed though, for some reason.

To continue a little further on this little rant and/or whatever of mine. You may notice my slight change in moods. I'm fully aware of this, as I have accepted this as into being my personality and is a feed to my randomness. This also cause me sadness for I longed to have a stable, more appropriate personality.
What's more, it adds to the suckage that I am ambivalent to said randomness and things. Because at times, I want to be a bit unique, for I despise stereotypicalism. And as of such, I imagine that one can divide my soul into two, four six, or the coveted, seven. I like to divide my soul into two and four more, because I have made these divisions into sentient beings known as

Idea of the Day: (Warning: More long shit, up ahead... Ewwies)
~Fazz, Elle, Soleil, Hold, Estell, Jorden~ (They're my Mary Sues! Yay. Yet they don't star in anything)
Fazz and Elle, also known as Alexander (Blizzards) Ronald (Tundra) Fazz (Polar) OR Alexander Ronald Fazz Blizzards Tundra Polar Crystal Comet and Alicia (Blizzards) Reene (Tundra) Elle (Polar) OR Alicia Reene Elle Blizzards Tundra Polar Crystal Comet, are my two main characters that of which I have created over the years. Since Fazz was supposed to be me, but then realise he could never be me, I have assigned both of them to represent the two main aspects of my soul.
Fazz and Elle, being the superhero nerd I am, have powers. They're power, in simplicity, is the ability to destroy all of existence, which is very contradictory to the very many ideology around the world. :D
On a long note, the power of the twins allows them to destroy all of existence, and do much more (everything).

Fazz is simply my collective negativity. So he never smiles often. He has white hair and black eyes. Stay away from him, if possible, when he gets angry. He, I suppose, is part of my soul which is the source of my sourness and bitchyness. He's also the source of the feeling of being irritated.

Elle is Fazz's twin sister, and his polar opposite, thus is very fond of. She is my collective positivity. She has black hair and white eyes, but you can still see the border of her eyes and every other detail, like those eyes in black and white manga and comics. Despite being the entity of all my positivity, under no circumstances are you to get her angry. For the fate of all existence, do not get her angry. Among all my mary sues, she has the most scary temper. With that on note, I assigned her as the source of my anger. :D

Sleeping within these twins are their souls! And for reasons complex and difficult to explain->[not really], they (i) decided to create personifications of their souls. And so the foursome was born : Soleil, Hold, Estelle, Jorden. These four are another way how you can split my soul. C:

Soleil Gules Corona is one of two parts of Elle's personification of her soul. She is somewhat regal, has no form of ego. She is very calm and never cease to smile peacefully, even when angered (and this is bad. BAD). She represent the Sun, the source of life, and thus Creation. As of such, she has power over fire , light and healing among (many) others. As a sentient being, however, she symbolises femininity. As stated in previous posts, the Candle Rod belongs to her. Her personality include, kindness, concern, wrath, regal and modesty. To describe here a little more, she has red hair, fair skin (like a Disney princess), and likes to wear dresses. Her eyes can change colour depending on the light quality, from red, to orange, to yellow, to pink. You know what I mean. She is where, I imagine, the source of my kindness and warmth from. As well as anger. She also is my anima [link]

Question: Am I kind at the very least? And have any of you seen me angry? Really, now tell the truth. I can't remember these things nor am I aware of it. Also, have I been bitchy or like a jerk at times? If I was, I'm sorry.....

Hold Crescent Evermoon is one of two parts of Fazz's soul. He is, as I do not like to say it but is very curious and interested in it, an emo. He, however, does not wear tight pants, never uses more makeup than an old, retired goth actress, or have completely black hair for more than three days. About his hair, it changes colour gradually, hair strand by hair strand, from completely black, to jumbled-up black and white, to completely white, in accordance to the lunar phases ( :D ). He symbolises the Moon, and thus is the most mysterious person among my six mary sues, despite the stereotype emo thing. He governs the element water and magic. Being the polar opposite of Soleil, his twin, he also governs destruction. There is nothing he can't destroy. Your pride is one example. Your virginity, the next. Despite being an emo, he's somewhat... let's be blunt, sexual. Because of his magic and his nature and simply be the very personification of the Moon, apart from being Fazz's soul, anyONE who looks at him will find him/herself filled in a torrent of hormones, and find him attractive. He will react the same way by finding EVERYone "attractive". However, the rest of my mary sues are not affected, and thus does not find them "attractive". He minds, yes, but not so much. Thus is he my favourite character and a constant subject of abuse. :D See? Even his description is long. As stated in previous posts, the Sad Cup belongs to him. He is the source of my sadness, as I imagine, and the feelings of loneliness, and other things. [clears throat]

Also, as a note, Fazz and Elle will stop aging at when they (i) hit the 25 year mark. Soleil and Hold stopped aging when they (i) hit the 18-year mark . (this year! yay!)

Estelle Avalon Fomalhaut is the the second of the two parts of, get this, Fazz's soul. She is a kid, and will forever be that way. She stopped aging years ago (despite being made only last year) So she shall forever be 9. She has short blond hair, and violet eyes. She simply acts her own age, that's all there is to it. She has the widest imagination among my mary sues, Fazz being the second runner-up, and is thus, my source of imagination. She is also the spring where my childish aspects originate from. She represent the stars. In my symbolism, the stars represent togetherness (galaxy and clusters), despite them being light years away in real life. So, she loves it the most when everyone is together. She is happy, alot of the times, and can also be irritating, like a kid. Her powers include wind, sound, lightning, aether (the fifth element), the mind and soul. She also has the ability to connect, gather anything combine all combinable things, like powers. :D I assigned her as the source of my happiness too. But, since the stars are at such a high place, she is also very proud of herself (the source of my pride... like I have any) As stated, the Yellow Dagger is copyrights of hers.

(I know I've done him before, but...)
Jorden Oak Paradys is the second of the two halves of Elle's soul (of course). He is already at the age of 29, but will not age any further. He symbolises the World, and thus maturity and responsibility, as I assigned him to be the source of said sense. He is also the personification of masculinity. If he did not exist in my soul, I'll never be able to differentiate what is manly and what is not, and, thus strive for said quality (not going so well actually). His powers include earth, nature, and all seven elements : fire, water, air, earth, light, darkness, energy. This is because he is the symbol of the World, where all ^those^ things exist. Among all my mary sues, he has the least dangerous temper, but he will still impale you with Mount Everest if he is angry enough, or crush you with Mars. Being the a symbol for the World, he is very lazy, in way that he is lazy in responsibility, contradicting himself. As stated, the Stone Coin is his.

Note: Fazz and Hold likes cats, Elle and Soleil loves rabbits, Estelle loves birds and Jorden loves snakes.

Designated universe: None.
End.

As you may or may not have thought, I enjoyed writing that. So yeah, that's pretty much who I am inside. :)

And now, to further your torment, I shall post one of my favorite youtube videos.



Moar kats! I is evol...